Wild Fibre: New Project

“I do only want to advise you to keep growing quietly and seriously, throughout your whole development… like all progress, must come from deep within and cannot be pressed or hurried by anything. Everything is gestation and then bringing forth. To let each impression and each germ of a feeling come to completion wholly in itself, in the dark, in the inexpressible, the unconscious, beyond the reach of one’s own intelligence, and await with deep humility and patience the birth hour of a new clarity..."

-Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

Inspiring Pumpkins

October 27th

"All thy waves and thy billows are gone over me." (Psalm 42:7)

Feeling under the weather today. Nothing is better or fits my mood more than the personality which autumn brings: melancholy. I settled for a full day of drawing, 19 pages of art history notes, music, bad news, autumn grey tea, and a brownie.

Mumford Lyrics

Roll away your stone I will roll away mine

Together we can see what we will find

Don't leave me alone at this time

For I am afraid of what I will discover inside

You told me that I wouldn't find a home

Beneath the fragile substance of my soul

And I have filled this void with things unreal

And all the while my character it steals

Darkness is a harsh term don't you think

Yet it dominates the things I see

It seems that all my bridges have been burned

But you say 'That's exactly how this grace thing works’

It's not the long walk home that will change this heart

But the welcome I receive with every start

Darkness is a harsh term don't you think

And yet it dominates the things I see (x2)

Stars hide your fires

For these here are my desires

And I won't give them up to you this time around

And so I will be found

With my stake stuck in the ground

Marking the territory of this newly impassioned soul (x2)

And you, you've gone too far this time

You have neither reason nor rhyme

With which to take this soul that is so rightfully mine

Remember

Position is relative, but distance is infinite.

In a Constant State of Missing

Home is where the heart is.

That is the saying and that is what I thought before venturing to the east coast. I will not miss a soul because I will carry you all in my heart. Home is the state of mind. Although, this is true for me (I think), a home has many different sides and aspects. A home is a place of being, feeling, sight, smell, thought, time. The thing of it is, missing people, places, ideas, things, etc is a way of life. When you miss, you miss something. Missing implies there is depth because of something that was once planted. Missing is not a bad thing.

I miss because I am full. I am in a constant state of missing.

Atalaya Castle

Here is a pre-view of my weekend trip to Pawleys Island, South Carolina. We visited the Atalaya Castle in Huntington Beach State Park.Atalaya Castle, also known as Atalaya, was the winter home of Archer M. Huntington and his wife, sculptor Anna Hyatt Huntington. A noted scholar of Spanish culture and art, Archer Huntington modeled the residence in the style of the Moorish architecture of the Spanish Mediterranean coast.The living quarters consist of 30 rooms around three sides of the perimeter, while the studio, with its 25 foot skylight, opens onto a small, enclosed courtyard where Anna Hyatt Huntington worked on her sculptures. Pens for animal models, including horses, dogs and bears, are situated adjacent to the open studio. The building also features hand-wrought iron grills designed by Mrs. Huntington, which cover the exteriors of windows. These and shutters were installed for protection against hurricane winds.

todays mail.

a letter to elsie dinsmore.

Slow Saturdays

The beginning of fall at Forsyth Park for a lovely afternoon.

New Hair Thus New Life

I always feel like getting a good haircut signifies a change in lifestyle. My lifestyle has changed a bit and I feel like I need a good signifier. Check it out. Hair appointment scheduled...12 days from today. Prepare yourselves.

October 17th, 2010

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Newest Obsession: Throws

I want to have the time to make all of these or have the money to buy them all. Sadly, they are time consuming little projects and are way out of my price range. I just want to feel them all.

Home Sweet Home

Home Sweet Home. I find myself in a state of limbo. I am searching for that next home, literally and not so literally. Wherever I go, a sense of dissatisfaction seems to follow. My friend, Julia and I, were talking about how nothing that we do seems to go easily (i.e. anything with the word KROGER). A sad thing happened the other day. I put too much hope in future college housing that seemed too good to be true! It was a beautiful home on the edge of a park in a wonderful family friendly neighborhood. My friends and I had everything planned out- how much money we would save, baking cookies for the neighbors, future babysitting opportunities, the minute by minute "commute to school" (five minutes), etc. What a dream. And then, even more perfect house number two made its way into my view and next thing I know- that did not work out either. The thing is it didn't work out, but it is a good thing there are always more places. Trying to find my next future home, but trying not to make it so fantastical in my head...even though it will be wonderful being able to cook, bake, decorate, paint, sit on the porch, the list goes one... I might of had the slightest bought of homesickness this weekend, but know that with time I will find this place to be more and more my home. Rest easy, Frances. Things aren't easy sometimes. I am not talking about having hard times at all. I am talking about being in a place where there isn't the highest of highs. Rest easy, weary souls. Find delight in the small things...I am here. The fact is, I am in limbo. I am supposed to be learning and growing for what comes next. Let it begin!

"An old believer remarked, that cheerfulness in religion makes all its services come off with delight; and that we are never carried forward so swiftly in the ways of duty as when borne on the wings of delight; adding, that Melancholy clips such wings; or, to alter the figure, takes off our chariot wheels in duty, and makes them, like those of the Egyptians, drag heavily."

"Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us."

As Dying and Behold We Live

My grandma sent me a book that she has had for sometime. This is the first entry and it really got to me. Beautiful imagery. "I had a bed of asters last summer, that reached clear across my garden in the country. Oh, how gaily they bloomed. They were planted late. On the sides were yet fresh blossoming flowers, while the tops had gone to seed. Early frosts came, and I found one day that that long line of radiant beauty was seared, and I said, "Ah! the season is too much for them; they have perished"; and I bade them farewell.

I disliked to go and look at the bed, it looked so like a graveyard of flowers. But, four or five weeks ago one of my men called my attention to the fact that along the whole line of that bed there were asters coming up in the greatest abundance; and I looked, and behold, for every plant that I thought the winter had destroyed there were fifty plants that it had planted. What did those frosts and surly winds do?

They caught my flowers, they slew them, they cast them to the ground, they trod with snowy feet upon them, and they said, leaving their work, "This is the end of you." And the next spring there were for every root, fifty witnesses to rise up and say, "By death we live."

And as it is in the floral tribe, so it is in God's kingdom. By death came everlasting life. By crucifixion and the sepulchre came the throne and the palace of the Eternal God. By overthrow came victory.

Do not be afraid to suffer. Do not be afraid to be overthrown.

It is by being cast down and not destroyed; it is by being shaken to pieces, and the pieces torn to shreds, that men become men of might, and that one a host; whereas men that yield to the appearance of things, and go with the world, have their quick blossoming, their momentary prosperity and then their end, which is an end forever." -Beecher.

"Measure thy life by loss and not by gain,

Not by the wine drunk, but by the the wine poured forth.

For love's strength standeth in love's sacrifice,

And he who suffers most has most to give."

If I was a jewel collector, I would be rich.

This is my second try at this. There is no way that I can express how blessed I am without sounding cheesy (hint the Title of this blog post). I came to Savannah with no friends on my horizon and the constant thought bubble of- 'I won't have any friends the first year and I am okay with that, yes uh huh I will be fine. In fact I'll love it, uh huh, yes.' 'hmmm. okay Frances' was the response I would get. I was horribly sad leaving everything about the place I call home. I experience the usual bought of homesickness every now and then. I miss talking to those who aren't with me. I expected the worst here, but convinced myself otherwise with my optimism. Miss Optimistic. Or pessimistic. "It is going to be horrible, but I am okay with it..."

Let me tell you. Things have not been what I had expected. I feel as home here as I think I ever could for the first quarter in a new place with new people, new schedules, and a new place to live. This place would not be what it is without the girls I have met here. There is Julia, Spencer, Claire and Jordan. I am blessed beyond words. All throughout my life, I have been a girl of few friends. People never understood. I would try and try to be outgoing and be the social one, trying to accumulate many friends. I, after many tries, realized this was not working for me and was not me. I have a few friends and I couldn't be happier with them. My friendships run deep in me. I want to be genuine and fine genuine relationships in turn. That has been my hope and dream for my life and my relationships. I want to be fully invested in those in my life (most time I struggle with this). This is my artist statement of my work, and it applies here too:

"A book is not beautiful when closed, rather when opened its true purpose is revealed as a conduit of knowledge. I open these books with the hope that you can see the relationship between the imbedded image/text and appreciate the life restored here. These books represent the individuals isolated in this world that can and will be connected through fellowship and redemption. "

I have been blessed and have found friends here. I thought I would have to settle with my friends the first year, but I have found real jewels here. Real pearls. I miss those who are not with me dearly, but thankful for those who are. You mean more to me than you know. Cheer up, you old souls. Things are looking up because if I was a jewel collector, I would be rich.

what a dear

while doing homework and sitting last night, the dearest julia patton gifted me with this little number. (supposedly, i am a jcrew model or something)

Time

Life here at SCAD does not give me a whole bunch of time. There are so many things I would like to do. When I look down the road, there just aren't a whole lot of free spaces lying around. I am here and I love it. However, I wish there was more free time. I cannot wait to return home in six weeks. Almost more than being home, I cannot wait to drive home. If you don't know me, I love road trips. My friend and I concluded that all familial and personal problems can be boiled down not having family road trips. Its a good thing! I cannot wait to drive with my friends Jake and Julia. They can drive and I can knit. How perfect!! This was a slightly roundabout way of saying, "I have a new project I want to begin." Again, if you know me, you know I love blankets. I am in the process of knitting one, but it is going to take me ages! This is my next project, and it is another blanket. Go figure. I like soft things and I want to be a grandma.

Remembering That Day On the Hill

June 20th, 2010

"woke up at 5:30 AM and got ready to go up on the hill to see Mama Ruth and her people. We planned to make the hike and then go have church under the tree! We were so excited. We began the hike in dress clothes: skirt, necklaces, v-neck, and...hiking shoes! It was shaky on which route to take at the beginning, but after about three different tries and backtracks we settled on one. It took two and a half hours of hiking up rocks and around thorns to get there. Pastor Paul struggled with his leg, but after some time made it. He was awesome and persevered happily the whole time. AMazing. Also, the Pastors' wives and their children slowed us down. We finally made it up and communed under THE tree. It looked much different this year in the day time...the rains had come and the trees and greenery had come in. THere was no cliff, just an open field. It was beautiful in a different way than the year before. We sat on their makeshift twig benches and began service. "Because of time" was used too many times. A children, youth, and womens' choirs performed for the service and then introductions of ALL kinds were made. Brian preached for twenty minutes, then Mary encouraged the involvement and growth and the leadership of the elders. Pastors Paul, John, Charles, and Moses spoke encouragement and thanks. Mimi, Ellie and I got to dance and worship with the childrens' chest popping choir. We all rotated in circles doing various moves looking to them for guidance. Mama Ruth came up after and blessed us by clapping four simple times with the community. (a tribal sign of highest respect). After the service we had childrens service. We sang songs then Lauren shared the gospel via the color book. After that we passed out candy. The forty or so children sat there so obedient and polite which was UNUSUAL compared to the other experiences with children and these "sweet treats." They held out their hands and waiting patiently. After that, I was able to take pictures of many of the children and women, which showed they were MUCH more trusting of us this year than the year before. After that, we walked across the field through the wood to an isolated small pond to the baptisms. TWENTY FIVE of them who decided to make that decision! THAT IS CRAZY! It was very special and probably one of the highlights of the trip. The year before, a pastor had come to them the week before and this year twenty five firm believers were represented here. The Lord works. I saw that here. We were able to give them Bibles in Masaii and towels and blankets. IT was special. After, we were invited to Mama Ruth's house. We sat in the "big" room with mud and sticks surrounding us. FLecks of light trickled through and splashed the faces of those there. "Teaching his disciples" was written on a wooden house board. BEAUTIFUL. She made us rice and had traveled down the hill herself to buy AND carry back up the hill cokes for all of us! This was so sweet and obviously over the top. I cannot wrap my mind around it. The faithfulness of Rut amazes me. SHe bowed before her Lord the nine years asking GOd to bring truth to her people. Every time people would pass her they would make fun of her- an elder! Ten years later, here we are. We are experiencing how the Lord answers prayers in his own time. We had to leave earlier to escape going down in the dark...on the way up we saw ostrich and baboons! It took us an hour and a half to get back down. We got back to the hotel about nine somehow. We returned and had debrief and said our thank yous for the pastors courage and faithful LOVE for these people. We were also so thankful for Mary and Faith's knowledge of the word and confidence in God's power and goodness. It was a good day and I am so honored and encouraged that I can call these people my brothers and sisters in Christ. Thank you Lord. Now to wake up in the morning at five to go to the Masaii Mara for safari. This trip is over and I have learned much. "

Inspire Me Workspaces. Inspire.

Sitting here in the sentient bean studying for my up and coming Art History Exam. All to say, I am feeling less than inspired and find my eyes wandering from my paper. I am pretty positive if I had a workspace like this, I would be 100% more efficient.